Lughnasadh

Im quite late With this, 

But I had too much going on lately.  My holiday ritual is always to change my altar, how I feel in need it at the time. I need some strong balance and power for my mind. A person who’s really important in my life really hurt me. A lot is changing again. The first picture is from midsummer, the last shows how it’s decorated for lughnassad. (The green liquid is Absinth) I’m exited on how my life will change in the next weeks. Xoxo luthien 

Stressed as Fuck 

Wolfenbüttel, the 25th of June 

Hell yeah, work work work. 

If anyone tells me, aaaah you don’t go to university right now … your just chilling around. I swear this person won’t have any teeth in his face! 

I work every fucking day right now! Get up at 7am and make the stables, then I ride the captain or take care of firstline, drive home and get some things done until I work in the afternoon again. 

Either the restaurant or the bar, and when I have an event I won’t be home again until 4.am so now you can calculate how much sleep I get in a week. 

Usually at the weekend I can sleep in, but my mum is on vacation so I have to do the stables also at the weekends. Today I hat a tiny little mental breakdown… my day started really really crappy. I couldn’t make it out of bed and then one of the horses nearly kicked me into a wall, then a giant transporter crossed our way and one of the other horses I had to bring out get crazy and ran away …yay …. I didn’t even hat the motivation or the power to get to captain today …. so I went home did my to do list of the day and slept from 11 am until 5pm. 

I have way too much stress right now and I didn’t make it to get some time for my mind to chill. 

Sleeping the whole day, really calms down myself. But I really need to fix this problem! Luckily next week my mum is back home so my weekend will be a little more relaxed. 

Funny thing, I changed university this year and also my subject, I’m waaaaaay to exited for everything 💕💕💕💕 

Also tomorrow there will be arriving an order, my nearly last order for the festival season and I want to make a look book with all the new thing I bought the last months💁🏻🦄🍾 

Monthly Wicca #1

Hej, 

I want to try a new series since my blog came a lot more alive lately. To keep things going I want to create some series that I can keep going. 

Let’s begin with my Wiccan journey that has started when I was around 12 or 13… 

I stopped everything I did because of my ex boyfriend! I hate him for this! But nevermind! I found my way back onto my path and now I’m reaching an even more peaceful mind. 

I want to begin with  the altar. A little disclaimer here, every Wiccan is doing it in a different way and I am not saying that the way I do is the right! It’s not everyone is different so is their way of expression and everything else. If you have other ideas or other experience or do I in another way please let me know in the comments. I would like to read how other people do, because I know no other wiccans where I live, people are either atheist or Christians. 

The altar is a space for channeling energies and for me it’s kind of my spiritual portal to the spirits and gods. I change it with every holiday. I didn’t really separate between the male and the female god, but this month I did. For the midsummer i put a loads of floral things in there. My little wooden piece I decorate, so I can move it. Usually it’s on my window desk but since it’s so warm outside I have to move it constantly. It’s now on the shelf in front of my tv. I’m not happy with this spot, because I really liked how the light from the window fall on it. And now it’s in a darker place. But the wooden box I movable, so it’s no big deal. 

I have three rose candles for the trinity symbol, an orchid to the female goddess and a black candle with a flower crown around it for the male god. As often I put my small Christals in a line and also the big one in the corner, to clean and sum the energies in my room. I also have my rose Quarz in my bag I take with me when I go out of the house. 

Summer to-do-list 

It’s here …. summer 2017 and I want to get things done until university starts all over again 

Here’s a quick list of my goals until October comes around the corner

  1. Finish dexter 
  2. Watch how to get away with murder 
  3. Watch season 2 of preacher 
  4. Read Dracula 
  5. Read Sherlock Holmes 
  6. Read Zelda 
  7. Read Tom Sawyer 
  8. Finish Frankenstein 
  9. Save enough money for my new laptop (July) 
  10. Sell my clothes 
  11. Buy new clothes (every moth of the year!) 
  12. Buy new shoes 
  13. Get a fit bit band 
  14. Party with your Friends
  15. Have fun and be happy 🤘🏻✨

Wolfenbüttel, Mittsommer 2017

So lassie and me had been to the stable yesterday, and we took a walk in our castle park. 

It was waaaaaay too hot, 32 degrees but we played anyway. Running and goofing around. 

So everyone, I hope you have a beautiful mittsommer although the thunderstorms destroy Lower Saxony.

Xoxo luthien 

​​

Medieval markets in Bavaria 

Last weekend I visited my boyfriend,he lives in Bavaria. Well and me in Lower Saxony. First time I travelled my car, and it was kinda fun but also annoying. Anyway we had a beautiful weekend with a lot of fun. He and his parents took me to two medieval  markets, Saturday weissenhorn, Sunday Ellwangen (jagst). 

Since I’m starting coming back to my magical path, which I left because of my stupid exboyfriend in 2015  (long story, it hate myself for this). I got a lot of new stuff, mainly Christals and I searched online for an Esoterik shop near my hometown and google says that there is one; which I definitely need to visit next time I go to town. I want to get some rune stones maybe roseauarz or amethyst or some clear Quarz,and a pendulum because I lost the necklace I used for it …. 

so here are my gatherings from the market 
Also we had a lot of fun there,drinking and eating awesome stuff and watching the people and the shows 

#NewYearNewStart

so it´s been a while since I posted something on this blog… I had a hard time struggeling with Depression and Feeling very uncomfortable up to nearly destroing my relationship because of my wrecked mind and suffering spirit. Nevermind I don´t want to go into detail with this.

It´s February now … kinda sad I didn´t started earlier. But here there are my new years resolutions.

#1 keep on your blog … and write in english so more people can underestand you (don´t mind my crappy english I´ll work on it)

#2 change your style … so I have the same clothing since I was like 15 or so and just bought new pants or some basic stuff. This year I want to get rid of all the clothing I don´t wear, that does not fit me or I do not like the colour or fabric of and MORE IMPORTANT buy new stuff during the year (which I alredy did :3)

#3 work on your body again. so since I´m studying I hadn´t done any sports at all and I cry over my body since I was not allowed to do sports for 3 years … now that I live at home again, I have the horses and the dogs and the forest back again so I will ride a few time a week … I promised myself that a soon as the weather gets better I´ll take a run at least once a week and do some ab-workouts everyday and even if it´s in bed while watching something

#4 be more minimalistic. I had a maaaaajor problem with all the stuff I had to pack when I was moving to the University town … now I had moved back to my hometown and I decluttered eeeevrything. I threw away clothing, drawings, make-up and other items I had but never, rarely use or are just place holders for no reason. Yes okay, I said I don´t want to byu much more make-up … but whooops sorry ( I´ll do a post on all the make-up I have left and bought new) my new room is smaller than the old one because I changed rooms with my brother, so most of my furniture that´s still left in the city-apartment won´t fit in here so I will only get my desk a shelf and some shelfs my dad will build me on the wall where my desk is … for all the books and stuff. also my wardrobe is smaller so I have no other choice than declutter again … I will sale a lot of the things that will arrive at the end of the month especially clothing

#5 be more concentrated in your new university. As I mentioned before I had some deep depression going on in the city I had to live in … btw I never wanted to move there it was just cheaper than travelling by train everyday. Anyway when I have depression I can´t concentrate on learning for exams … I try to keep my mind active with something else like watching a tv show or playing a video game, because as soon as I come back to my problems I´m done for the day and also when you feel uncomfortable you don´t want to stick your head into books … I tried learning at the universitys libary but I failed my Anorganic Chemistry Exam, because I can´t keep calculation formula in my head and I didn´t took a single look at the Industrial Processes of farming different Elements… so it´s kinda my fault but kinda not. In Autumn I´ll hopefully s´tart all over again with a ‚Studium`as we say in German that is more in my interest and not just „ok you do this than you´ll earn a lot of money later“, which was the desperate way I chose what to study after years of research and never finding something that interests me and has a job future.Now I will change from Biosystemtechonlogy/Engingeering to just a Biology ‚Studium‘ in my hometown University.

#6 buy a new laptop. so this i defintly a struggle for me. Okay I have two jobs. I´m a barkeeper for weddings and other celebrations and I take care of the horses from my mums stable in the morning. This means I get a loot more money now than I usually do, and I want to save for a macbook pro. my laptop is about 6 years old now, it works fine I play my RPGs like Skyrim or Assassinscreed on it and it runs fluently but the battery is broken, so it has to be on the power cable all the time… that means I can´t take it to university and sadly the lable does not produce laptops or pcs anymore which brings me to the macbook … since I have a smartphone I have an Iphone. First the Iphone 4 and now the 6 and I´m super satisfied with how it works and everything so why not getting a macbook. Sure on a mac I can´t play videogames but I´ll for sure keep my old sony laptop for Gaming 😀

#7 do more of what makes you happy.I want to paint with my acryl and watercolours again and listen more to music and spend more time with the horses or the dogs outside. And I want to enjoy the time with my friends more… currently I have like 3 friends I reagulary meet. The other ones are just „university friends“ sure it´s fun with them too but we are just kinda dared to spend time together because we see each other nearly everyday. And I´m exicted to meet new people in autumn when university starts all over again for me here in the town where I went to school for 8 years, maybe I´ll find someone really nice or a new best friend. I learned that the people I´ll just talked to randomly are the best I´ve met in the last half year.So if I´ll see a metalhead or someone I might like to hang out with and who might have the same interest … I´ll just give myself a hint again and just talk to them. I know I can do this, because I alredy did it many times … I´m always the one who talkes to someone first or just has enough self-esteem to just go over and speak to a stranger.

#8 show my boyfriend more often that I love him.  he is my one and only … and it doesn´t matter that he lives 535 kilometers far away from me. and it doesn´t matter that we have some struggeling right now … because he also has depression and shit like that going on in his life. I love him and I´ll always will. I´m so glad that I´ve met him and I´m so glad that he stand by me trough this hard time and I hope that when the M´era Luna comes up this year that we can celebrate one year of being together!  We never really had a special date where we said „ok now we are a couple“ we just kinda had been together foreverafter but I decided to take the 13th of august because that was the first time he called himself my boyfriend while standing next to me. And also 13 is a beautiful number.

#9 Celebrate the wiccan holidays.  Samhain was kinda ok last year but it could have been better … definitely. Yule was heartwarming but Imbolc definitely needed more attetion this year … I had my first part of moving at the 2th february… I wrote my Anorganic Chemistry exams that day and after that my dad picked me and my stuff up and we drove home … I unpacked nearly everything … than I had to go to bed because the next morning my mum drove me to the mainstation and I started my trip to bavaria to vistit my boyfriend… but his birthday on the 5th was the most amazing birthday I ever had … even if it wasn´t my own ^^‘ This year my birthday will kinda suck, but thats mostly because we are going to get the rest of my stuff and all the furniture from the city apartment back home and I can´t really calculate the time I have to plan my birthday… I would really like to got to the cinema but I´m not sure if we make it to the movie … I just invite two friends, the third one is on a city trip that weekend. Maybe we grab some pizza and watch some movies in my room, have some drinks and enjoy the evening a little… but that´s kinda shitty when all the boxes are still standing around and take up all the space.

#10 smile more often.  I want to smile more often and take more pictures of myself… when I get new clothing I want to film a lookbook video or multiple of them especially from my festival outfits.

i hope that my english is not to bad to read … and that I might have inspired you a little bit ❤

 

img_5960-1
one of the gin bottles that disappered on the 5th february … bulgars are the best friend of my boyfriend and me … we´re both big fans of gin …. we killed one and a half bottle that evening … together … only we two
img_6078
just a little meercat chillin at the Augsburger Zoo
img_6116
Also Augsburger Zoo, a sleepy fennek/desert fox
img_6219-1
my mums horse, we took a walk around the castle park
img_6265
me trying to bleach my hair …. please don´t mind the ugly fingernails … it was a new gel and they cracked while work :/